


I'll Save You

by CinderSpots



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Abuse, Cheating, Cussing, F/F, Minor Parrlyn, Sexual Content, aramour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:28:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 15,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29121927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinderSpots/pseuds/CinderSpots
Summary: Catalina lies in the bed, as far away from him as she can get, disgusted in how his hands slid over her, without her permission, but she always knew better than to argue, she knew the sting of his rings, she knew the points of his shoes, she knew the pain of his rage. So she distanced herself as far away as possible from the man she regretfully said yes to. Soon he would leave, to say goodbye to his other mistress (there were many) because he was leaving for his parents. She knew better about that too, really he was visiting his out of state hook-ups, to keep them hooked. She was excited for him to leave, three months of free reign. She couldn't wait.Jane wasn't as oblivious as everyone seemed to think. She knew about his cheating, she knew how cruel his words could be. For now she was waiting for him, with his favorite dinner as a goodbye, she hoped she got it right this time, although these days she seemed incapable of doing anything right in his eyes. She could easily envision her sobs of distress as he yelled and screamed about how useless she was, and how she needed to do better if she wanted to keep him. Why did she want to keep him? What would her life have been like if she hadn't so stupidly said yes to him?
Relationships: Anne Boleyn/Catherine Parr, Catherine of Aragon/Jane Seymour
Kudos: 16





	1. 1

Catalina knew that _he_ was no saint.

But seriously, six girls at once?

For fucks sake dude.

Unfortunately Catalina also knew how hard _his_ hand stung when it whipped across her face. So here she was, still with _him_ , in bed.

Because _he'd_ demanded that she go to bed with _him_ at least twice before _he_ left for his parents.

(At this point she knew that _he_ was really going to visit another one of _his_ girlfriends, because six wasn't enough.)

_He_ was currently asleep and Catalina was too afraid to get up, unsure what would happen if she did and _he_ woke up. So she laid there, as far away from _him_ as she could.

As her thoughts flitted back and forth, she couldn't help but wonder how much better her life would be if she hadn't so stupidly said yes to the first date with _him_.

She hated _him_.

___________

Jane wasn't as oblivious as everyone else seemed to think.

She knew that when _he_ left it was never to where _he_ said it was.

She knew about the other girls.

She knew how cruel _he_ could be.

She also knew how manipulative _he_ could be as well. The painful sobs after being told that you weren't good enough, that you should've done better, that you were worthless.

_He_ would be coming soon.

To visit before he 'left for his parents'.

As she waited, with _his_ favorite dinner, in the hopes that she'd gotten it right this time.

That she'd been enough this time.

She thought about if her life would've been better if she hadn't run into _him_ at the cafe.

She wished she'd never met _him._


	2. 2

After _he_ left Catherine instantly shot out of bed and into the shower, desperate to clean off any remains of _him_ off of her.

She scrubbed until it became painful, and even then she continued.

_He_ would be gone for a few months, which told her that there were multiple girls _he_ needed to see.

Once she got out of the shower and dried herself, she dressed and headed out.

She breathed in the fresh air of the morning and quickly made her way to the coffee stand. She ordered, and while she waited she sat near the tree's in the middle of the square.

_He_ didn't like it outside, so she could never sit there with _him_. _He_ would leave after _he_ ordered and make her pay for everything and bring back _his_ coffee.

If it was wrong, _he'd_ take it out on her, even though it wasn't even remotely her fault.

"Cold Brew with hazelnut for Aragon!"

_He_ would never let her use her last name, only _his_.

So even though it seemed strange to be so delighted by this, she was.

She walked up and thanked the barista. As she walked away she smiled, the next few months were going to be a paradise without _him_.

As she walked out of the corner of her eye she saw a girl, blonde hair, blue eyes -

Oh her eyes.

They were beautiful.

_His_ eyes were dull, and brown a true depiction of _his_ personality.

But her eyes were bright, and blue and seemed to be dragging Catherine into its depths.

She didn't even realize she was walking over to the girl until she was right in front of her. Catherine felt embarrassment course through her veins when the girl looked at her questioningly, blinking her eyes repeatedly in confusion.

"I - I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking." Catherine stuttered and turned to walk away and pray that she never ran into that girl again.

"Wait!"

Catherine stopped, and turned around.

"What did you want to say?"

The girl was even more intoxicating up close, and clearly much happier than Catherine could ever hope to be while in _his_ grip.

"I thought your eyes were really pretty." Catherine mumbled, more flustered than she'd been in her entire life.

"Oh." The girl flushed as well.

Catherine took the chance to see her more clearly, her blue eyes had different shades of blue in them, but the most stark one was the pale azul.

"Your eyes are pretty too." The girl said.

Catherine raised her brows.

"They're brown."

"No, they have gold specks in them as well."

Why did this girl know her eye color better than herself?

"I'm Catherine, what's your name?"

"Jane."

"That's beautiful."

"Thank you, I um have to get going, maybe I'll see you again sometime."

"Yeah, no - sorry to keep you waiting."

"It's alright, bye Catherine!""Bye Jane."

What was she doing?

She was in a relationship with _him_.

She couldn't do this.

But then again, _he_ was more than willing.

But she didn't deserve to get dragged into their shit.

Oh what to do.

What to do.

As Catherine wandered back to her dorm, her mind was only focused on one thing.

Azul.


	3. 3

It was either amazing, or terribly messed up that Catherine ended up being Jane's library buddy.

(Something that everyone detested it be called, but the Librarian was very firm in making everyone uncomfortable. In fact it seemed like she enjoyed their flinches.)

There were a series of volunteer Librarian's and every few months they switched who was paired with who.

Mostly because volunteer Librarians had no social life so it was a way to make friends with other anti-social people.

And also because apparently when you put two strong and stubborn minded people in a room together conflicts tend to rise.

Crazy.

When Catherine looked to see who her new partner was she almost squealed like a child.

Jane arrived a few minutes later, and although Catherine pretended to not notice her, Jane stopped and stared for a few moments before shaking herself and heading over to the board.

"I'm your new partner." Catherine called over to her before she could reach the board.

Jane stopped and turned to Catherine, surprise written all over her face.

"Really?"

"I swear I'm not stalking you."

When she laughed Catherine felt drawn to her.

"So normally I'm during this time, is that okay with you? I can ask to move us."

"No, that's perfect."

"Great! Do you want check out or do you want to put away books?"

"I'll take check out."

"Okay, I'll just clear the check in box real quick."

Catherine moved and began to stack the recently turned in books on the cart. She stood there for a moment, sorting them into genres before wheeling it over to the shelves. Every once in a while she would look up at Jane.

And everytime she was smiling, and happy.

_She_ was -

No he was -

_He_ was more important.

Not _her_.

Her.

Catherine needed to get her brain in check, it was prioritizing the wrong people.

She wouldn't be a hypocrite.

She wouldn't.

____________

Once Catherine was done putting away the books, she walked back over to the check out desk.

Jane looked up at her when she got within a few feet of the desk.

"Hey I'd like to check out a book." Catherine said jokingly, leaning against the desk.

Once again, her beautiful laugh echoed in the Library, a few people looked up. They looked as if they were about to shush her, but clearly thought better of it at Catherine's glare.

Jane bit her lip with a smile.

Catherine didn't know it, but Jane was going through the same dilemma.

_Her_ or him.

_Him_ or her.

They were both losing grip on what they thought they knew.

And both of them were forgetting more and more about him.

( _Him_ )


	4. 4

Jane didn't really know what to do with herself.

He was becoming less and less prominent in her mind the more she spent time with _her_.

(Wait, _he_.)

Jane was becoming more and more lost in the field of sunflowers that was Catherine Aragon.

But Jane could sense the hesitation in _her_ , and she didn't even know about him.

( _Him_.)

Jane wanted so desperately for _her_ to make a move, to kiss her.

_She_ was more beautiful than anyone that Jane had ever met. _Her_ eyes glowed golden when it started to get dark outside, _her_ smile was more warm than a fire, _she_ was more golden, more pure than he could ever be.

(It started getting easier to think him, rather than _him_.)

Jane followed _her_ wherever she led.

Which at the moment was _her_ dorm.

( _Her_ , never him, never again.)

As they walked Jane stared at _her_ , unable to make herself look away. Even the way _she_ walked was mesmerizing.

"What are you staring at?"

"You."

Woah.

_She_ smiled at Jane, making her feel the warmth of it all.

"Normally I'm staring at you so I guess that's fair."

Jane felt the giddiness rise in her throat, was this it?

(Momentarily her thought fled to him, but she quickly forced him out of her head.)

"That's good to know."

_She_ smiled at her again, wider this time.

All the hesitation that Jane had seen earlier, was completely gone now.

"Come on, we need to hurry. The darker it gets, the more likely you are to get hit on by a drunk dude."

Jane frowned, "No thank you."

_She_ laughed and took Jane's hand.

They walked quickly through the halls of _her_ dormitory, and eventually found _hers_. _She_ opened it quickly and let Jane in with a soft smile.

Surprisingly it wasn't filled with yellow.

Instead it was orange.

(His favorite color, coincidence?)

Jane walked around, and _she_ walked behind her, biting her lip.

Jane turned around and smiled shyly at _her_.

_She_ made eye contact with Jane before stepping forward and cupping her face.

"Can I kiss you?"

(Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes -)

"I think you should know something before you do."

"What?"

"I'm technically already with someone else."

_She_ paused for a moment.

"Do you love them?"

Jane startled at that, did she? She was seconds away from making out with someone else, so she supposed she didn't.

"I don't think so."

"Then, can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

_She_ stepped forward again, and brought Jane closer. _She_ leaned in until _she_ was a breath away from Jane's lips.

"Are you sure?"

Impatient, Jane lunged forward and kissed _her_ instead of responding. _She_ tasted like lemonheads, which normally would've been weird but seemed just right for _her_. Jane whined when _she_ pulled away, and chased the kiss.

In just one kiss _she_ had outdone him in every way.

_She_ pressed against Jane needily, as if _she_ was deprived of her, as if _she_ needed more, until there was nothing left. And Jane found herself giving it all.

Normally Jane moved very slowly, took her time, but she felt like she needed to have all of _her_ tonight, at that exact moment.

They stumbled to the bedroom and fell backwards into the bed.

_She_ whispered quiet encouragements in her ear as they rocked against each other.

Things he never told her, in fact things that he claimed she wasn't.

She felt wanted in _her_ bed.

Needed even.

When they were done _she_ wrapped _her_ arms around Jane, and pulled her infinitely closer. _She_ kissed her head and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

____________

When Jane woke up the smell of breakfast hit her.

She crawled out of bed reluctantly, because for once she wanted to stay under the sheets. She wanted to stay wrapped in her blissful bubble and not have to face _her_.

Not having to face that _she_ hadn't really wanted her.

She picked up a shirt, that probably wasn't even hers, and walked out to the tiny kitchen.

_She_ was humming along to Katy Perry while cooking.

Jane took a moment to watch _her_ dance, oblivious to _her_ admirer.

When _she_ finally did notice Jane, _she_ widened _her_ eyes in surprise and almost set the kitchen fire as she fell.

"Oh my god are you okay?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine, do you want breakfast? Or do you have to go?"

"I don't want to overstay my welcome."

"You're welcome here anytime."

Jane felt the familiar blush that usually indicated _she_ was near her.

"Then sure, I'll have some."

"Great! Because I already made some for two without really thinking!"

Jane's laugh was cut short as something caught her eye across the room.

A picture sat on a nightstand, taken long ago back when _Catherine_ had been happy, but Jane didn't know all that.

All she saw was the picture.

"Catherine."

"Yeah?"

"Who's in that picture with you?"


	5. 5

Jane felt dizzy as _her_ brows furrowed in confusion.

_She_ turned in the direction that Jane was pointing and sighed.

"That is Henry."

(Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no-)

"How do you know him?"

"He's my technical boyfriend, but he's kind of a dick to me."

"He can't be."

"How is that?"

"He's my boyfriend."

_She_ stared at Jane for a moment, before bursting into hysterical laughter, panic lit in _her_ eyes.

"Are you telling me, that the first time I pay him back for the millions of other girls he sleeps with it's with one of the few he decides to introduce himself with his real name, and stays with?"

"He can't be cheating that much."

"I've caught him at least 50 times this last year with different women."

"Jesus."

_She_ got on the floor and sat crisscrossed, Jane walked over and turned the stove off.

"I don't think I can do this."

_She_ looked up at Jane.

"What?"

(Stay, stay, stay, stay -)

"I can't risk him finding out."

(- stay, stay, stay, stay -)

"I don't understand, you were willing to do this before."

(- stay, stay, stay, stay, stay -)

"I can't be that person."

(- stay, stay, stay, stay -)

Anger flooded _her_ eyes suddenly.

(- stay, stay, stay -)

"What right do you have to judge? You did the same thing?"

(- stay, stay, stay, stay -)

"I -"

"Get out."

Jane stumbled back in surprise at how angry _she_ sounded. The hurt was almost completely swallowed by _her_ apparent rage that Jane was judging _her_.

"I - alright."

Jane dressed as quickly as she could, ignoring the feeling in her stomach and the voice that was screaming at her to stay.

(- stay, stay, stay -)

She had done this to herself, she chose poor words and ended up pissing _her_ off. She momentarily looked at _her_ , as _she_ stood and walked to _her_ room, refusing to look at Jane.

When Jane finally left the voice left her with one parting word.

(- stay.)

Jane felt tears coming, even though she had done it to herself Jane felt the terrible sadness of losing _her_.

(Him, it was his fault, he had torn her mind apart.)

Jane walked to her dorm, ignoring everyone else, and simply focusing on getting to her dorm without bursting into tears and having a breakdown in the middle of the square.

(You should've stayed.)

_____________

Her next shift at the library was torture.

She'd adjusted to hearing _her_ jokes, and _her_ sarcasm.

_She_ was the only one she could complain about to people who for some reason thought that because she worked there she knew where every single book was.

Instead when she arrived _she_ was already gone, the cart taken away. _She'd_ most likely spend the entire time putting away books to avoid Jane.

It was so sudden that Jane had the urge to find _her_.

To apologize.

(To stay.)

Jane quickly wrote a note saying that she would be right back and then set off to find _her_ in the gigantic library.

It's largeness used to feel like a blessing, but now it was a curse because _she_ could be anywhere.

Like the first place she looked.

_She_ was standing there, holding a book with a frown. _She_ was clearly perplexed by it's cover, it having no author name on it and no genre.

Jane walked over to _her_ , and _she_ only noticed her until it was far too late for _her_ to leave.

_She_ was talking that much Jane was sure of, but what _she_ was saying?

No clue.

Jane focused on _her_ face, _her_ golden eyes, _her_ curls, and suddenly Jane burst.

"Shut up."

"Excus -"

Jane grabbed _her_ shirt and yanked _her_ down, and kissed _her_ with a fierceness that she herself had no idea she had.

For a terrible moment Jane wondered if _she_ would pull away, but instead _her_ hands moved to Jane's hips and _she_ kissed back with a rivaling amount of passion. _She_ moved forwards and pinned Jane against one of the bookshelves.

Just like the night before Jane felt the desire to give herself over to _her_. To let go of everything, and simply be.

(Preferably with _her_.)

They stayed there, in their little bubble for who knows how long.

But it was long enough for the actual librarian to come looking for them.

A cough sounded at the end of the aisle, they jerked apart feeling embarrassed to have been caught by a forty year old woman that they saw daily.

"When I encouraged you to socialize this wasn't what I meant." she said, her brows raised teasingly.

"You got a little something on your neck." She waved over at Jane, who's hand flew up to cover the now burning love bites.

She walked away laughing at them and Jane turned to _her_.

"I got a little carried away."

"Obviously."

"How long have we been here?"

"Long enough, let's go and do our jobs now, you've put away enough books for the next two shifts, let's go."

_She_ smiled at Jane and pushed the cart back to the desk, where Jane removed the sign. They stayed at their posts for the rest of their shift, which was to be fair about fifteen minutes, they'd been gone for about thirty minutes no wonder she came looking for them.

Once their shift was done they stared at each other, both not knowing how to proceed with cheating, because it's not like they planned for it.

"Do you want to come over?"

A moment.

"Again?" _She_ added.

Jane shivered at the insinuation and stepped forward.

"Lead the way."


	6. 6

Jane hummed happily to herself as she walked.

For the first time in a long time, she wasn't worried about if she was doing enough.

She knew for a fact she was.

As she'd been told so the previous night.

Multiple times.

But that's besides the point, the point is that Jane is meeting _her_ at the coffee stand. Jane walked with a smile on her face, earning confused looks as she walked by since normally she had her head down and was extremely shy.

When she reached the stand she stopped and scanned for _her_.

_She_ wasn't there, so Jane moved to an empty table and sat down to wait. As she waited, Jane scrolled through her phone and laughed at her cousins recent photos. Anne was doing a handstand while Kat was trying to push her over.

Someone tapped on her shoulder and she turned to see who it was.

_She_ was standing behind her, a grin on her face.

"Hey, did I keep you long?"

"No, come on let's order."

They walked up to the line together, and Jane smiled as _she_ slipped _her_ hand into hers. Jane squeezed it reassuringly and earned a shy smile in response.

They ordered quickly, and after a brief argument, _she_ paid for both of them.

_Her_ hand went from Jane's hand, to her waist and pulled her as close as possible.

Jane briefly thought of the people around them, what they might think, who they might know, if they knew him.

But as soon as _her_ lips connected with Jane's all rational thoughts flew out of her brain.

When she pulled away Jane leaned forward and nuzzled _her_ nose with her eyes closed. _Her_ arms wrapped fully around Jane's waist, the other arm moving up to secure her place in _her_ arms.

_She_ cooed in her ear hundreds of compliments while they waited, causing Jane to burrow deeper into the crook of her neck. Jane's eyes fluttered shut when _she_ kissed her head.

"Cold Brew with hazelnut for Aragon!"

_She_ pulled away and pressed a kiss to Jane's temple. _She_ grabbed her coffee and walked back. At the exact moment _she_ was going to pull Jane back in, the barista called out.

"Mocha with vanilla for Seymour!"

Jane sighed and walked over to the stand. She grabbed her coffee and walked back quickly. She placed her coffee down on the table and was instantly dragged into _her_ lap. Jane curled into _her_ , forgetting about her previous worries.

They sat there for at least an hour, cuddled into each other and drinking their coffee.

_She_ occasionally pressed a kiss to Jane's lips, and Jane always, without fail, smiled and sighed into the kiss. Eventually they finished their coffee and stood. _She_ took both of their cus and threw them away.

"Do you have to go?" Jane asked quietly.

"No, I can stay. What do you want to do now?"

Jane flushed, embarrassment hitting her.

One of _her_ brows raised suggestively.

"I mean I'm open to that, but I was more talking cuddles."

_She_ laughed.

"That's my fault for having my mind in the gutter, but that also wasn't a no."

"No, it wasn't."

"We can cuddle after."

"We better."

_____________

_Her_ arms were locked firmly around Jane.

Jane was only just waking up, she smiled as _she_ frowned and tightened her arms around Jane when she tried to sit up. Jane curled back into _her_ , completely immersing herself in everything that was _Lina_.

After a minute or two of Jane stroking _her_ face affectionately, _she_ stirred. _Her_ eyes blinked open slowly, and once _she_ adjusted to the light _she_ smiled at Jane making her heart flutter.

"What's up?"

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"That's alright, now I can kiss you."

_She_ leaned forward slowly and kissed Jane languidly. Jane hummed happily into the kiss. When her traitorous brain decided to ruin the moment.

What would happen when he came back?

Jane pulled away when that thought crossed her mind.

_She_ frowned in worry and tucked a strand of hair behind Jane's ear.

"What's wrong?"

"What's going to happen to us when he gets back?"

_She_ paused for a moment looking into Jane's eyes.

"To be completely honest? I don't know, but I do know what I want to happen."

"What do you want to happen?"

"I want to stay with you."

Jane's breath caught in her throat, and she found herself leaning into _her_ heavily. _She_ leaned forward and kissed Jane softly and pressed their foreheads together.

"I want to stay with you." She repeated, softer this time, overcome with emotions.

Jane kissed her firmly, determined to never let go. She gasped and kissed back, her hands now gripping Jane's hips firmly -

Possessively.

The delight of knowing that _she_ didn't want anyone else to be with her caused Jane to press herself further towards _her_.

For a moment they pulled away, catching their breaths.

Jane's nails dug into _her_ back as _she_ slid up and pressed kisses to her neck.

And she realized.

She realized that she didn't want anyone else to be with _her_ either.

"Lina." She breathed against her.

They wrapped themselves around each other all night, a desperate urge that could seemingly never be fulfilled to be with each other, to hold one another.

And when they finally let sleep wash over them, they were entangled in the sheets, holding each other tightly. As if someone was going to come the next day and tear them apart.

And in a way there was.

But for that night they let themselves forget everything but each other.

It was just them.


	7. 7

When Catherine woke she smiled.

_She_ was curled into her completely, and _her_ face was resting gently. _She_ wasn't frowning or smiling, but _she_ looked peaceful. And while Catherine hated to break that peace, if they didn't get up soon they would be late for their shift at the library, and that woman had enough on them as it was.

"Jane." Catherine whispered.

_She_ grumbled in _her_ sleep and snuggled closer.

"Janie."

No response.

"Come on baby girl we gotta get up."

That one caught _her_ attention.

Well both of their attentions, it slipping out without Catherine's permission.

_She_ sat up suddenly, her sleepiness gone.

"What did you just call me?"

"Um - not babygirl?"

_She_ smiled at her shyly, and crawled over to Catherine. _Her_ arms wrapped around Catherine's neck and _she_ kissed Catherine.

"I'll be your babygirl, if you'll be my honey."

Oh that was so not fair.

"Alright babygirl."

_She_ smiled and then abruptly frowned.

"Why were you trying to wake me up?"

"Library."

"That job is getting in the way."

Catherine laughed at _her_ pout, and kissed _her_ to make her smile.

Which was a success.

"Come on, we gotta get up."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Why are you a child?"

"Why aren't you a child?"

"That's it, either you get up or I won't cuddle with you anymore."

"Oh my god I'm up, I'm up!"

Catherine laughed as _she_ got up speedily and dressed.

"Where is my shirt?"

They briefly looked for it before Catherine realized that they needed to leave. She went over to her dresser and pulled out a shirt.

"Here, use this." She threw it at _her_.

_She_ looked back up at Catherine in skepticism.

"It's probably too big, but you can tuck it into your leggings which will probably be very distracting for me."

_She_ laughed and threw Catherine's shirt on and took a moment to tuck it into _her_ leggings.

"How do I look?"

"Perfect." Catherine blurted, more focused on _her_ wearing her shirt than anything else.

"Come on, I'll put concealer on while we walk."

"Oh yeah, you're gonna need help."

"Good to know I can't trust you."

"I couldn't help myself!"

______________

Catherine hurried to put her books away.

When she finished she rushed back to the check out desk and sat down next to _her_.

"That was quick." _she_ commented teasingly.

"Thank you, I tried my hardest.

To say that they didn't spend the entire time flirting with each other would be a complete lie.

There was a constant stream of flirtatious comments spilling uncharacteristically from Catherine's mouth, and _her_ face seemed to have taken a permanent position at red cheeks.

_She_ bit her lip in an attempt to stop herself from grinning at Catherine's comments, but no luck. Catherine looked around, at the moment there were no readers around so she rolled her chair over to _her_.

"No."

"I just got deja-vu."

"Shut up, but no."

"You don't even know what I'm going to do."

"You're going to distract me from my job again, and then we are going to get too caught up in each other and get caught by Mrs. Chester again. Do you want that?"

"Can I cut out certain parts?"

"No."

"Then no."

"Exactly."

"But what if we didn't get caught?"

"Catherine."

"I'm just saying, what if?"

"We'll never know."

"Until we try."

"Which we won't be doing."

"Do you seriously want me to stop?"

"......."

"Hello?"

"No."

"No to us making out, or no to me stopping?"

"Second."

"Wait really?! I mean - really?"

"Really smooth Catherine, smooth."

"Shut up, we aren't doing this at the desk, and we certainly aren't going to the same side as before."

"That's the first place she'd look."

Catherine turned her palms up towards _her_ , and _she_ placed her hands in Catherine's.

Catherine pulled _her_ up and looked around again.

"Let's go."

____________

By some miracle they weren't caught.

But they almost were.

Something that was leading Catherine to bicker with _her_.

"We are never doing that again."

"Why?"

"Because some freshman almost caught us!"

"But he didn't!"

"Who's being a child now?"

"Oh that's low."

"Hmm."

"Not cool man, not cool."

_She_ started giggling at Catherine's ridiculousness. _She_ wrapped her arms around Catherine's waist and leaned on her shoulder with a grin. Catherine slung her arm on _her_ shoulders with a smile.

"Come on, I'm hungry." Catherine whispered in _her_ ear.

"Okay where to?"

"Don't care you pick."

She smiled up at her and quickly typed a name into her phone.

"You don't know where it is?"

"I do, but are you going to let me drive your car?"

"God no."

"What I thought."


	8. 8

Fucking memories.

They always gotta ruin everything.

__________

_They were in Catherine's dorm, and she was sitting on the couch watching t.v when she heard it. Curious, she turned the t.v off and opened her door. A woman was standing outside._

_"Is he here?"_

_"Why?"_

_"Please!"_

_"What do you want from him?"_

_"I'm pregnant!"_

_Catherine stared at her in surprise before grimacing._

_"He won't help you."_

_"I need to see him!"_

_"You aren't the first person to get pregnant._ He'll _hang you to dry."_

_The woman stared at Catherine, realization dawning on her face._

_"I need to have an abortion don't I?"_

_"You don't have to, but if you want to I'll come with you."_

_"Why?"_

_"_ He _did this to me, but_ he _forced me to have one alone. No one should have to do this alone."_

_The woman thanked her, but declined her offer to come with her. She said that she needed to think about it. Catherine assured her that it was fine and gave her number to the woman._

_She went back inside to stare at_ him _._

He _was obliviously humming along, and had turned the t.v back on. Or maybe_ he _did know what was going on, but just didn't care._

_"Babe, you missed it -"_

_"You got her pregnant."_

_"Oh, well thanks for getting rid of her. Anyways -"_

_"What is wrong with you?"_

_"What?"_

_"What is wrong with me?! Why can't you just be loyal?! How many other girls have you knocked up and left?! Answer me!"_

He _stood up and got in her face._

_"Don't you tell me what to do! I do what I want!"_

_"Well you're a fucking disaster! You destroy everything you touch!"_

_"Like you're any better!"_

_"What is that supposed to mean?!"_

_"You're dating the brother of your dead boyfriend!"_

_"I'll remind you that you wouldn't leave me alone! You hit on me! The girlfriend of your dead brother!"_

_"Don't bring him into this!"_ _  
_

_"Me?! You brought him up first!"_

_They screamed, and screamed, and screamed until_ he _had enough._

_"Shut up you bitch!"_

His _hand raised and_ he _swung. When the back of_ his _hand made contact with her face she let out a cry of pain and crumpled to the floor. She whimpered when_ he _gripped her hair and yanked her up._

_"I don't give a shit about what you say, or think. I don't give a shit about you. You're just a good fuck when there's no one else around."_

He _let her go, but before she could get up_ he _kicked her._ He _smirked down at her broken state._

_"Clean yourself up." He sneered._

_Catherine laid there on the ground, unable to move without pain shooting through her entire body. Eventually she pushed herself up, and wobbled over to the bathroom._ He _had left about thirty minutes ago, presumably to go_ _ruin someone else's life._

_She washed herself, ignoring the searing pain in her body and stumbled over to the sink. She washed her hands, clearing all the remnants of blood off of them and pulled her concealer out. With shaking hands she applied it to her bruises, making sure there was enough to hide them completely._

_When she was done she was almost out of concealer._

_She stumbled over to the bed and waited._

_Waited for the inevitable return of_ him _._

_And the inevitable action that would occur._

_The door slammed open and_ he _shouted._

_"You better be ready for me!"_

_Catherine wiped her tears away, and removed her shirt._

_When_ he _came in she closed her eyes and imagined she was anywhere but there. Anyone but_ him _._

___________

Catherine woke up with a start, gasping for air.

The memory sending fearful shivers down her spine.

She looked over to _her_ , and immediately the after effects began to wear off. _She_ was sleeping peacefully once again and Catherine brushed a strand of _her_ hair out of _her_ face with a soft smile.

Unfortunately this act made _her_ stir, _her_ eyes fluttered open as _she_ yawned.

"What are you doing? Go back to bed."

_She_ wrapped _her_ arms around Catherine, and she stiffened. She forced herself to relax and laid back down.

"Sorry, go back to sleep."

"Not until you do too."

"I will, I promise."

_She_ nuzzled the crook of Catherine's neck and almost immediately fell back asleep.

Catherine pulled _her_ into her, and closed her eyes and made a vow to herself.

I will never let him hurt _you_ , I will never let him touch _you_ , I won't let him destroy _you_ like he destroyed me. Never.


	9. 9

Hiding the fact that you've been abused as it turns out, is a lot harder than it looks on t.v.

Because it took _her_ a total of five minutes to know something was up the next day.

A personal low for her in all honesty.

"What's up with you? You're being really jumpy."

Catherine jumped and turned her head towards _her_.

"Nothing, I probably just had too much coffee."

"Hmm." _She_ hummed disbelievingly.

Catherine winced at her terrible lie and sat down on the couch.

With a cup of coffee.

_She_ walked over and snatched it away from her, earning a whine.

"You just said you had too much."

Well _she_ had her there.

"Fine, that's my first cup. Please give it back."

_She_ handed the cup of life back to Catherine with a raised brow.

"In a second, I need my coffee before I speak."

"Just like your cousin."

"Take that back!"

Catherine placed the cup down (with a coaster because people who don't use coasters are monsters) she looked over to _her_.

_She_ was waiting patiently, scrolling on her phone.

"Alright, I'm ready."

_She_ put her phone down immediately and looked at Catherine. Just before Catherine was about to speak _she_ grabbed her hands in an attempt to sooth her. Catherine smiled uneasily at _her_.

_She_ looked so understanding, but a voice in the back of her head was telling her that _she_ would get upset. _She_ would say things (the things he used to say), and _she_ would leave.

Catherine's fear must have been apparent because _she_ moved closer and kissed Catherine's cheek.

"It's alright, you can tell me anything. I won't judge."

Normally Catherine was very good with words.

Normally she would talk eloquently and not just blurt things out.

"He hits me."

Wow, claps for you, what a way to start off.

_Her_ gaze sharpened, and Catherine cringed backwards. The voice began to sing, I told you so over and over again. Until _she_ brought a hand up to Catherine's face.

"Oh I'm so sorry."

"I'm not done."

Catherine forced herself to get it over with. To tell _her_ everything.

"He doesn't even bother hiding the other women in his life, he thinks of it as a game. How many times can Catherine catch me with another woman? And he'll hit me when he's had enough of me arguing with him. He'll hit and hit and hit, if I fall to the floor he'll yank my hair and kick me. When it's all over he'll -"

Catherine started to sob uncontrollably, her emotions finally forcing themselves out.

"He'll - he'll - he - f - f - forces himself on - on - m - me."

When she finishes she's sobbing and almost falling off the couch. _She_ rushes to hold her, but stops. As if sensing that doing that would make it worse.

"Lina, I'm so sorry."

_She_ looked lost.

"And I thought you getting to speak was a blessing."

What?

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not allowed to speak. Speaking is a privilege, one that I don't deserve. But at least he's never hit me. Instead he just tells me how worthless I am when I don't do something right, and then ignores me. If I speak out of turn he yells about me doing better, so I can be worth his time. So I'm good enough for him. I've never been good enough."

"Bullshit." Catherine growled, suddenly ten times more angry.

_She_ looked up in surprise, then smiled shakily.

"It's fine."

"No, it isn't. You are good enough. You're beautiful, smart, kind, funny, and -"

Catherine stops as she realizes what word she was about to use.

"- you're perfect."

_She_ gasps, her eyes widening in surprise at this.

"Perfect?" She whispers.

And Catherine understands, she understands why hearing that word is such a big deal. After so long being told to be better, to be worth something, hearing someone call you perfect is jarring. And them meaning it is like finally achieving a seemingly impossible goal.

"Perfect." Catherine repeats.

_She_ looks Catherine in the eyes, scanning for any malice, only to find none. Only love. _Her_ jaw squares and _she_ looks at Catherine.

"And you're worth more than him."

Catherine smiles at _her_ , feeling a lot more free than before after telling _her_ that. _She_ tilts her head in silent question and Catherine nods her head. _She_ moves forward and hugs Catherine.

_She_ hugs her a little too tight, but Catherine doesn't say anything.

You're worth more than him.

Throughout all the time she's been with him, she's thought that karma had served her. Served her for -

Oh, she should probably tell _her_ that too.

"I was with his brother before him. Should've included that before."

_She_ pulled away, with _her_ mouth open.

"He died, and we got closer over his death."

Now _she_ just looked confused, as if _she_ didn't know what to talk about first.

Which was fair.

"Back up. Brother?"

"You didn't know he had a brother?"

"No, was he nice?"

"Way nicer, here I'll tell you about him. We were almost married......"


	10. 10

So Jane wasn't the only one dealing with some fun trauma.

Isn't that nice?

(Not really, but the point was sarcasm.)

Jane sighed and looked down at _her_ sleeping figure. They spent hours telling each other what he'd done, and Jane found herself getting more and more pissed off for every scar _she_ had on her back.

Too many, that's how many.

He apparently got drunk one night and decided that throwing knives at his girlfriend was an amazing idea.

Amazing.

Unfortunately for _her_ , he was actually a good shot and hit _her_ multiple times with a knife.

Isn't that fun.

Isn't that terrible.

Doesn't that just make you want to empty a 22 on someone with red hair and weight issues?

Huh?

Jane doesn't realize she's scowling until her face starts to hurt, because it's only recently she's been given the freedom to not constantly smile and be polite.

( _She_ was wildly confused at first when Jane was super happy about not having to be happy all the time, it became clearer later on.)

Her phone starts to buzz and Jane immediately snatches it up and runs outside before it wakes _her_ up.

It was her mistake that she didn't check the caller ID.

"Hey baby, I've missed you."

Shit on a stick!

"Hey my love, how are you? I've missed you so much!"

It's a good thing that after her time with him, she's become quite good at lying.

And if you haven't noticed she's currently doing it through her teeth.

"I'm good, hey I need you to water my plants okay?"

"Of course."

"So....."

Jane waits for it, she already knows what's about to happen and also knows how to get out of it.

By playing the dumb blonde card.

"What are you wearing?"

"Pajama's, it's night time over here."

He grumbles.

"And under?"

"A bra."

"You wear your bra to sleep?"

No.

"Yes."

"I - bye."

He hangs up, and Jane rolls her eyes.

Just a week with _her_ and she's already over him and his antics. A week with _her_ and she's already realized that he isn't worth her time. He isn't good enough for her.

But _she_ is.

_She's_ better than he could ever be.

_She_ wants her, for everything she is.

_She_ wants her opinions.

_She_ wants her affection.

_She_ wants all of it.

He doesn't.

He just wants a toy, and Jane is so over being a toy.

Especially since with _her_ she's a person, a human. _She_ wants her to be happy.

Jane feels the bitterness in the back of her throat.

When she thinks of him it's no longer thoughts of impressing him, instead it's hate.

When she thinks of _her_ it's butterflies, red cheeks, long nights, and -

Oh shit.

Love.


	11. 11

It's official.

Jane is an idiot.

She's only been with _her_ for a week and she's already in love with _her_.

I d i o t

Jane sighs and puts her phone away, when she walks inside _she_ isn't sleeping on the couch anymore. Instead _she_ stood, with a very confused expression. When _she_ sees Jane, the confusion turns to worry.

"Where were you?"

"Just outside, someone called and I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh, well - wait, who called?"

"Him."

"How much longer until he's back?"

"Two weeks, he shortened his trip, and what does that tell us?"

"Someone dumped him and we praise her for her bravery."

"Amen."

_She_ looks very antsy and Jane can't stand the way _she's_ shifting anymore, so she asks _her_ what _she's_ doing.

"Okay, what is wrong?"

"I - " _She_ finished with something inaudible.

"What?"

_She_ repeats.

"Okay, you know I can't hear you, what are you saying?"

"I want to cuddle! Okay?"

_She_ turns away with a flushed face, and Jane knows she has the same shade of red on her face.

"Well then, let's cuddle."

Jane decides to tell _her_ later, because one week into a relationship is not the best time to say I love you.

Because that sounds insane, and clingy, and obsessed.

_She_ grabbed Jane's arm and dragged her to the bedroom.

When _she_ plops down on the bed Jane giggles, and _she_ smiles. _Her_ arms shoot up in a childish way of telling her to cuddle.

It's strange to see this side of _her_.

So free, and happy.

Jane happily curls herself into _her_ arms.

_____________

Jane's plan of keeping her emotions to herself goes out the window when _she's_ complaining about the school magazine misspelling their own name.

(It's a little sad.)

Jane just blurts it out,

"I love you."

Oh. My. God.

I thought we talked about this?!

_She_ looks up in shock, forgetting momentarily about how _she's_ going to call the editor and educate them on the English language.

(She really should though.)

"What?"

"I - um - nothing."

"No, what did you say?

Well there's no going back now.

"I love you."

_She_ grins and gets up from _her_ chair. _She_ walks towards Jane, who's decided the floor is very interesting in all of it's brown glory.

(It's like the worst shade of brown too.)

"I love you too."

_She_ puts a finger under Jane's chin and tilts her face up, forcing her to meet _her_ gaze. Jane immediately gets lost in the golden haze of _her_ eyes. _She_ leans down and kisses her slowly. Jane's eyes flutter shut and she kisses back, and they both forget one very important thing.

Cousins.

"Holy shit."

They pull away suddenly and turn towards the noise.

There stands Anne and Kat, and Jane internally dies at Anne's delighted face.

"Language." Kat says, as if she doesn't cuss when Jane isn't around.

Anne makes a face at Kat, who returns it.

"Are these your cousins?"

"Yes, who I definitely didn't forget were coming over today."

"Clearly." Kat says, sarcasm lacing her voice.

Jane sends a glare her way while Anne high fives her.

"Let's go to the dining hall."

"No, I think I wanna stay here." Anne says, humour dancing in her eyes.

"Anne."

"Jane."

"And Kat, don't forget Kat." Kat interrupts.

_She's_ laughing silently at all three of them.

"Anne, let's go."

"No."

"Anne I -"

"You may be more responsible, but I am older than you."

"What?!" She shrieks suddenly and Jane throws her head back.

"Yes, Anne is older than me. Shocking I know, let's go!"

"So who's this?"

"Oh my god Anne -"

"I'm Catherine."

"You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Sorry?"

"Glad you finally left him, do you know what he tried to do to Kat?"

"What?"

"Seriously?"

When the realization hit Jane, she almost screamed.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Hey, I never did apologize."

"It's alright you didn't know."

"Know what?"

"Anne was sleeping with him, but she didn't know he was with me."

"This wouldn't have happened about a year ago would it?"

"Yes why?"

"He almost left me for you."

"Wait -"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"This is amazing!"

"I know."

"What was his face when you told him why you were leaving him?"

Jane looked over at _her_ , and _she_ shrugged.

"Well you see the thing is -"

"Wait, you haven't told him?"

"He's away right now."

"Jane."

"I know."

"This is -"

That's when _her_ cousin appears.

"Cathy! You're here! Today! I knew that was happening."

Anne tilted her head in Cathy's direction, interest glittering in her green gaze.

"Anne, no."

"But Jane!"

"Not until you know her."

"Fine."

"Can we go to the dining hall now?"

"Oh, I'm hungry, can we go too?"

Dammit.

"Sure."

"Let's eat!"


	12. 12

Jane commends Kat for trying to keep Anne in check.

She tried.

But halfway through she's picked a fight with _her_ , and it doesn't seem to be going all too well.

"Let's all calm down."

"Anne stop antagonizing her!"

Cathy is just watching, her mild interest now fully focused on Anne.

(And no, Cathy wasn't checking her out. Jane is in denial, let her live.)

"Both of you stop!"

_She_ stops immediately and Anne stops a moment later.

"Say you're sorry."

"Sorry." They both mumble.

"Shake hands."

Is she being cruel? No.

Just a little mean.

Anne is the first to move her hand out, but _she_ sits still refusing to shake Anne's hand.

"Lina."

Anne and Kat gush a little and Cathy makes a face that isn't blank so Jane counts it.

"Fine."

_She_ jerks her hand out and shakes Anne's hand, immediately they yank their hands back and scowl at each other.

"Great first impression Anne, real nice."

Anne tilts her head up haughtily.

Jane rolls her eyes and presses a quick kiss to _her_ lips to calm _her_ down. When she pulls away _she_ whines quietly and chases the kiss. Jane allows _her_ to kiss her one more time.

(That's a lie, she let _her_ kiss her about ten more times.)

Jane leans her head on _her_ shoulder with a smile. _Her_ arm wraps around Jane, causing Jane to let out a noise that most certainly didn't sound like a purr.

Nope.

Anne asks her (in their secret language, that was really just morse code)

Are you good with her?

Yes.

You love her?

Yes.

Do I need to hurt her?

No, please don't.

Are you sure?

Yes, if I find out you attacked her I will kill you.

Fine, fine.

Anne turns and relays the conversation to Kat, who's still trying to learn morse code.

They both look at _her_ , studying _her_.

Then they both made the same non-committal hum at the same time that made even Cathy crack a smile.

Jane started tapping.

You like her don't you?

So what if I do?

You don't even know her that well.

And?

She's Lina's cousin.

She's nothing like your annoying girlfriend.

She isn't annoying.

Beg to differ.

Look, if you ask her out you better be serious.

I am.

Good, because Lina will kill you if you aren't.

She isn't that scary.

Yes she is, don't lie, you started tapping please save me half way through that argument.

Not a soul.

I won't, but don't lie.

Anne scowled at Jane, not amused with the inadvertent blackmail. And Jane pretended to be oblivious while she looked on in confusion.

"What just happened?"

"Cousin language you wouldn't understand."

"That seems very extreme."

"It was just morse code."

Anne looked like she was about to pass out.

"You know morse code?"

"Yep."

"Oh my god."

Jane started laughing while Kat looked at _her_ for help. _She_ shrugged in confusion as Anne died, Jane laughed, and Cathy smiled.

"I wouldn't mind trying."

"Really?"

"What are we talking about?"

Jane moved and sat by Kat and quickly explained, and then she started to laugh. She was only silenced when Anne elbowed her.

"Ow!"

_She_ was still out of the joke, and not at all happy with it.

"Somebody tell me what's going on?"

"No." Everyone replied.

Jane burst into laughter again over _her_ frustrated face.

"Oh fine."

Jane sat down next to _her_ again, and whispered what was happening in _her_ ear.

"Hell no! You are not dating my cousin!"

"I can make my own decisions."

"But - but she's the devil."

"Wrong he's the devil."

"I - that's true, you're a demon."

"Better."

"I don't care, I want to try. Besides you owe me after -"

"Ah! Nope! Not a word Parr!"

"Um what?"

"Especially to her."

"You mean you don't want me to tell her about how you -"

"Shut it!"

Cathy giggled, and Anne leaned into her, clearly obsessed.

Jane can't really judge now, can she?

"Whatever, Jane, we gotta go, our shift starts in fifteen."

"Oh, well. I'll see you guys later! Kat tell me everything!"

Kat salutes Jane mockingly, earning a smack to the back of her head from Jane.

"Don't be smart with me."

"Okay then, I'll be dumb."

She runs away before Jane can bop her again.

_She's_ laughing again, and Jane smiles at her.

"Awwww, look at Jane blush!"

"One moment." Jane says in a quiet voice, that tips her cousins off that they're in trouble.

"Oh shit, run!"

"Can you guys shut up for once?!"

No, Jane didn't chase them around the square, that would be immature.

(Alright, maybe she did.)


	13. 13

Unfortunately for Jane, her cousins would be staying a lot longer than she wanted.

She would've preferred that they leave immediately and stop embarrassing her, and picking fights with _her_.

Specifically one green cousin who Jane knows is referred to by gremlin, chaotic kermit, chaotic muppet, and little shit.

No, Jane doesn't want to specify who uses what.

At the moment they're all sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Jane recognizes it, but can't quite put her finger on what movie it is. Is it a little aggravating that they are talking through it so Jane can't focus on what she's watching?

Yes.

But she kind of owes them after Anne tripped while running away from her and Kat had to help Anne to the dorm.

_She's_ sitting beside Jane, _her_ arm resting comfortably around her waist. About half way through the mystery movie _she_ pulled Jane closer and kissed her temple. Then only a few minutes later, she was hauled into _her_ lap.

Jane had been hoping that by the end of the movie she wouldn't still be in her lap, but it turns out that she was really comfortable because she fell asleep.

When she woke up, she woke to Anne and Kat making fun of her while she tried to shush them so she could sleep.

"Too late."

She scowled at Anne, and then turned to face Jane. Her face softened when she made eye contact. Jane yawned and pecked her lips. She whined at the short kiss, Jane rolled her eyes fondly and leaned back in.

Jane curled herself into her, and ignored Anne's snickering. Kat hit the back of Anne's head and forced her to go into the other room. _She_ rubbed Jane's arms comfortingly, and Jane snuggled closer.

"Your cousins are forces of nature."

"I know."

_She_ laughs quietly and kisses the top of Jane's head. Jane could hear her two cousins, who in reality were more like sisters that Jane occasionally wanted to throw out a window, talking.

"Hey, stay here I'm gonna talk to them."

"Okay."

Jane reluctantly climbed out of _her_ lap, and stood. She leaned down and pecked _her_ lips with a smile.

"I'll be right back."

"You better." _She_ said grumpily.

Jane walked into the other room (a.k.a the kitchen that was literally ten feet away) and leaned against the counter. Anne and Kat silenced themselves and turned to Jane.

"What do you think?"

Anne and Kat looked at each other, going through what they had seen throughout the day.

"She's perfect for you."

"And you actually like her, and she isn't overtly mean to you."

"Yes, I can attest to both of those."

Anne and Kat sighed.

"But?"

"You need to break things off with Henry, you know if you don't do it now you never will."

"I'd feel so bad if I did it over text."

"But if you call him you'll cave, and when he actually gets here you'll definitely cave."

Jane sighed and glanced over to where _she_ had moved. _She_ had gotten up and moved to the far end of the room so _she_ couldn't hear what they were saying. Jane felt a smile tugging at her lips at the sight of _her_.

"I will. Just not right now, he'll come rushing home angrily if I do it now, and I want as much time with her as I can get."

"He'll be angry no matter what. Do what you want Jane, but you need to get your affairs in order."

"I didn't appreciate that pun."

"Really? I thought it was great."

"I agree."

"Okay, back to the couch so she can sit again."

Jane pushed them back to the 'living room' and forced them to sit. _She_ walked over and dragged Jane back to where they had been sitting.

"Am I allowed to know what you were talking about?"

"Sorry, no. But I promise you'll know someday."

"When is someday?"

"Someday."

"Ah, thank you, really cleared things up for me."

"Glad I could help."

Jane giggled and nuzzled _her_ neck, allowing herself to forget her problems for just a little longer. Anne was right, she needed to do this, but if she did she would be screwing _her_ over as well. Before she could do anything she needed to talk to _her_ first.

But for now they would go back to watching Deadpool.

(Oh my god they were watching Deadpool! Jane knew she would figure it out.)


	14. 14

When the cousins leave Catherine can feel the tension rolling in waves from _her_.

She almost asks _her_ what _she's_ so stressed about, but then remembers _her_ conversation with Kat and the demon.

(She stands firm in her decision that the green woman was a demon.)

_She's_ busily scrubbing away at a dish, actually _she's_ really going at it and Catherine takes that moment to realize that maybe she needs to save that pan.

"Jane, honey, I think it's clean. You can put it down now."

_She_ looks back up at Catherine and blinks a few times, then _she_ glances back down at the pan and smiles shakily.

"Oh, sorry didn't realize."

"You don't have to apologize."

Catherine thought it was going to take at least a few more hours of dancing around the issue before _she_ finally said something.

But she was wrong.

"I need to talk to you about something." _She_ rushed out, clearly forcing _herself_ to speak.

"Okay?"

_She_ took a deep breath before continuing.

"I think I need to break up with Henry. Like soon, like this week."

Catherine raised her brows in surprise.

"Oh, good for you, why do you need to talk to me about this?"

"Because you know he'll want to know why."

Oh.

"What are you asking me to do?"

"I'm asking you if I can tell him the truth."

"You're asking me if I have a death wish!"

Catherine put her mug down (she'd been drinking tea it wasn't important before) and walked over to where _she_ was standing.

"You're asking me to put a target on my back!"

"No! I'm asking you if I can tell him the truth! It's a yes or no answer!"

"It's a loaded question is what it is! What you're really asking me is if I'm ready to piss him off and not keep us a secret anymore!"

"Maybe I am! But clearly I'm not worth the risk considering we're sitting here yelling about it, which pretty much defeats the goddamn purpose of it being a secret!"

"Well stop yelling about it then!"

"No! Not until you answer!"

"No!"

Her reply seemingly rang through the dorm room, _she_ went silent and staring at her angrily.

"Fine." _She_ growled.

_She_ pushed Catherine back a little, causing her to flinch.

"Get out."

"What?"

"It's my turn to kick you out I guess, get the fuck out."

"Jane -"

"Everything. I risked everything for you. You claim to love me, but you aren't willing to be with me in public. I'm not worth enough for you to risk losing something. You know what? Fuck. You. Get out, I'm done."

Catherine stared at _her_ and squared her jaw.

"Fine, if you can't understand why I'm not able to do that, then we weren't a good fit anyways."

"You're able, you just aren't willing."

They stared at each other for a moment, before Catherine rolled her eyes and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

Catherine stopped for a moment outside, breathing heavily. 

Fuck.

Even while he's away he has the magical superpower of ruining everything for her.

(She knows deep down that _she's_ right, she's being a coward and running away. She loves _her_ , she does, and she needs to show _her_ that.)

She brushes the tears away from her face and begins to walk back to her dorm. When she walks in she sighs. This wasn't where she wanted to be, she wanted to be at _her_ place.

She wanted to be cuddling with _her_ , or watching something on the t.v, or both, or really anything with _her_.

Why was her life so fucked all the time?

For the first time, in a long time she was happy.

But naturally she fucked up in her disastrous way.

What was wrong with her? 


	15. 15

It was safe to say that Catherine didn't sleep well that night.

She tossed and turned, unable to sleep without _her_ next to her, in her arms. She wished she said yes, yet also was glad she didn't. He was a terrifying person when enraged, she couldn't speak for her, but with Catherine he was dangerously close to murder when angry, and this could be his break.

But _she_ was worth it.

Right?

Did Catherine love _her_ that much already?

God, she hates midnight thoughts. It's a time of second guessing and confusion, but can also be the moment of an epiphany. She hopes she reaches one soon, because she really needs her sleep if she wants to pass this exam.

Fuck, she isn't going to sleep anytime soon.

Catherine sat up from her bed and slipped out to the couch. She turned the t.v on and flipped through the channels, searching for something that could drown her thoughts out and lull her to sleep. She briefly stopped on Gilmore Girls, but moved on once realizing it was almost over.

It wasn't fair that he could still destroy things for her when he wasn't even there. She hadn't even talked to him.

  
Why was _she_ so ready to give everything up for her?

Catherine was troubled.

(Like a snake he slithered-)

Catherine had exactly what she deserved, if not more.

(-into her head, into her heart-)

Catherine didn't deserve Jane.

(-he wrapped himself around her-)

Catherine was crying.

(-and squeezed as tight as he could-)

No, Catherine was sobbing.

(-until there was nothing left to squeeze out of her-)

Catherine turned the t.v off and cried into her hands.

(-until he was back-)

She suddenly threw the remote across the room, her anger coming out full force.

(-where _he_ deemed _he_ belonged-)

"Why can't you leave me alone!"

(-as her only.)

_____________________

Catherine slept for only a few hours.

With a jerk she woke, so suddenly that she almost fell off the bed.

"Fuck, again?"

Catherine gave up on going back to bed and decided to let her mind wander to where it wanted to. Azul.

Beautiful azul that could mesmerize any man, and apparently woman. Blonde hair that was the perfect color, and a smile that made Catherine want to kiss it over and over again until they were breathless.

She jerked when she realized what had happened before she fell asleep. She let _him_ back into her head, she let him take control, she let him trick her, she let him win.

He couldn't win.

She wanted to sleep, but she was so sad. So sad. She thought about walking around her dorm, but that ran the risk of drunk men hitting on her, which was an automatic, no.

Catherine paced her dorm instead, anxious and debating herself, running through the facts, going through her feelings and weighing them. She analyzed everything that had happened since he left. She was meticulous with the way she organized everything, even writing it down to form a pro-con list.

Eventually she stared at it, somehow giving her an answer. She wanted to leave him so badly, and she wanted to be with _her_ so badly. But he could kill her.

Suddenly her brain didn't have any opposition.

Suddenly her brain decided.

It was worth it.

Dying was worth _her_ , in every way.

It was worth it.

And finally, Catherine fell asleep, and stayed asleep. Peaceful with the feeling of knowing what she would do when she woke.

Catherine Aragon was going to break free of her prison, and soar like the phoenix she was.


	16. 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings of rape and abuse

Catherine‌ ‌rushes‌ ‌through‌ ‌her‌ ‌morning‌ ‌routine,‌ ‌determined‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌to‌ ‌her‌ ‌dorm‌ ‌before‌ ‌ _she‌_ ‌leaves.‌ ‌She‌ ‌runs‌ ‌to‌ ‌and‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌bathroom,‌ ‌her‌ ‌hurried‌ ‌state‌ ‌causing‌ ‌her‌ ‌to‌ ‌forget‌ ‌to‌ ‌do‌ ‌many‌ ‌things.‌ ‌She‌ ‌dressed‌ ‌quickly,‌ ‌picking‌ ‌her‌ ‌outfit‌ ‌randomly‌ ‌and‌ ‌happy‌ ‌that‌ ‌it‌ ‌matched.‌ ‌She‌ ‌brushed‌ ‌her‌ ‌teeth,‌ ‌went‌ ‌for‌ ‌coffee,‌ ‌then‌ ‌ran‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌comb‌ ‌her‌ ‌hair,‌ ‌then‌ ‌made‌ ‌coffee‌ ‌and‌ ‌was‌ ‌about‌ ‌to‌ ‌drink‌ ‌before‌ ‌realizing‌ ‌she‌ ‌hadn't‌ ‌put‌ ‌her‌ ‌makeup‌ ‌on.‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

She‌ ‌finally‌ ‌got‌ ‌through‌ ‌breakfast‌ ‌and‌ ‌picked‌ ‌up‌ ‌her‌ ‌shoes.‌ ‌She‌ ‌walked‌ ‌while‌ ‌putting‌ ‌them‌ ‌on‌ ‌her‌ ‌feet,‌ ‌struggling‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌them‌ ‌on.‌

‌Once‌ ‌done‌ ‌she‌ ‌patted‌ ‌her‌ ‌pockets.‌ 

‌"Phone.‌ ‌Where‌ ‌is‌ ‌my‌ ‌-‌ ‌there‌ ‌it‌ ‌is!"‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Catherine‌ ‌darted‌ ‌to‌ ‌where‌ ‌her‌ ‌phone‌ ‌sat‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌arm‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌couch‌ ‌and‌ ‌picked‌ ‌up‌ ‌her‌ ‌keys.‌ ‌Smiling‌ ‌to‌ ‌herself‌ ‌she‌ ‌double‌ ‌checked‌ ‌she‌ ‌had‌ ‌everything‌ ‌before‌ ‌swinging‌ ‌open‌ ‌the‌ ‌door.‌

‌Her‌ ‌heart‌ ‌stopped‌ ‌in‌ ‌her‌ ‌chest,‌ ‌and‌ ‌her‌ ‌smile‌ ‌faltered,‌ ‌because‌ ‌oh‌ ‌shit.‌

His‌ ‌hand‌ ‌was‌ ‌hovering‌ ‌right‌ ‌where‌ ‌the‌ ‌door‌ ‌would've‌ ‌been‌ ‌if‌ ‌she‌ ‌hadn't‌ ‌opened‌ ‌it,‌ ‌and‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌smiling‌ ‌in‌ ‌his‌ ‌sick‌ ‌way.‌ ‌ ‌It‌ ‌was‌ ‌him.‌ ‌ ‌He‌ ‌was‌ ‌back.‌ 

‌ ‌________________‌ ‌ 

‌"You're‌ ‌back‌ ‌early!"‌ ‌Catherine‌ ‌said,‌ ‌fear‌ ‌beginning‌ ‌to‌ ‌worm‌ ‌it's‌ ‌way‌ ‌into‌ ‌her‌ ‌mind.‌ ‌ 

‌"Yes,‌ ‌well,‌ ‌something‌ ‌interesting‌ ‌happened."‌ 

‌ ‌"Oh?"‌ ‌ ‌

"Fuck‌ ‌off,‌ ‌I'm‌ ‌not‌ ‌telling‌ ‌you."‌ ‌ 

‌She‌ ‌broke‌ ‌up‌ ‌with‌ ‌him,‌ ‌fuck.‌ ‌ ‌

"Look,‌ ‌I've‌ ‌had‌ ‌a‌ ‌long‌ ‌flight‌ ‌back‌ ‌here,‌ ‌make‌ ‌yourself‌ ‌pretty‌ ‌eh?"‌ ‌ 

‌"What?"‌ ‌ 

‌"You‌ ‌heard‌ ‌me."‌ ‌ 

‌Catherine‌ ‌felt‌ ‌a‌ ‌burst‌ ‌of‌ ‌bravery‌ ‌shoot‌ ‌through‌ ‌her‌ ‌when‌ ‌she‌ ‌said‌ ‌-‌ ‌ 

‌"No."‌ ‌ 

‌"What‌ ‌the‌ ‌fuck‌ ‌did‌ ‌you‌ ‌just‌ ‌say‌ ‌to‌ ‌me?"‌ ‌

‌"No,‌ ‌I‌ ‌-"‌ ‌ 

‌Normally‌ ‌he‌ ‌at‌ ‌least‌ ‌let's‌ ‌her‌ ‌finish‌ ‌before‌ ‌he‌ ‌loses‌ ‌his‌ ‌shit‌ ‌on‌ ‌her,‌ ‌but‌ ‌this‌ ‌time‌ ‌he‌ ‌goes‌ ‌straight‌ ‌for‌ ‌the‌ ‌throat.‌ ‌His‌ ‌hands‌ ‌wrap‌ ‌around‌ ‌her‌ ‌throat‌ ‌and‌ ‌puts‌ ‌pressure,‌ ‌choking‌ ‌her.‌ ‌ ‌

"You're‌ ‌gonna‌ ‌do‌ ‌as‌ ‌I‌ ‌say."‌ ‌ 

‌(No)‌ ‌ 

‌"Let's‌ ‌go,‌ ‌I‌ ‌have‌ ‌some‌ ‌ideas‌ ‌for‌ ‌this‌ ‌time."‌ ‌ 

‌(Let‌ ‌me‌ ‌go)‌ ‌ 

‌He‌ ‌dragged‌ ‌her‌ ‌to‌ ‌their‌ ‌room,‌ ‌and‌ ‌threw‌ ‌her‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌bed.‌ ‌She‌ ‌hated‌ ‌how‌ ‌much‌ ‌stronger‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌than‌ ‌her,‌ ‌she‌ ‌could‌ ‌never‌ ‌fight‌ ‌back.‌ 

‌He‌ ‌put‌ ‌his‌ ‌hands‌ ‌on‌ ‌her‌ ‌legs‌ ‌-‌ ‌ 

‌(Stop)‌ ‌

‌And‌ ‌forced‌ ‌her‌ ‌pants‌ ‌off.‌ ‌ ‌

(Stop)‌ ‌ ‌

When‌ ‌she‌ ‌tried‌ ‌to‌ ‌speak‌ ‌he‌ ‌hit‌ ‌her,‌ ‌causing‌ ‌her‌ ‌to‌ ‌let‌ ‌out‌ ‌a‌ ‌cry‌ ‌of‌ ‌pain.‌ ‌ ‌She‌ ‌once‌ ‌again‌ ‌forced‌ ‌her‌ ‌mind‌ ‌to‌ ‌go‌ ‌anywhere,‌ ‌anywhere‌ ‌than‌ ‌where‌ ‌she‌ ‌was.‌ 

‌Back‌ ‌at‌ ‌her‌ ‌home,‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌meadows‌ ‌of‌ ‌wildflowers.‌ ‌ 

‌His‌ ‌hands‌ ‌moved‌ ‌to‌ ‌her‌ ‌shirt.‌ ‌ ‌

She‌ ‌used‌ ‌to‌ ‌dance‌ ‌in‌ ‌them,‌ ‌and‌ ‌play‌ ‌games‌ ‌with‌ ‌her‌ ‌sisters.‌ ‌ ‌ 

‌Her‌ ‌bra.‌ ‌ ‌

Sometimes‌ ‌her‌ ‌mother‌ ‌came‌ ‌out‌ ‌to‌ ‌play‌ ‌too,‌ ‌but‌ ‌never‌ ‌their‌ ‌father.‌ ‌ ‌

‌His‌ ‌pants.‌ ‌ 

‌She‌ ‌spent‌ ‌time‌ ‌with‌ ‌her‌ ‌father‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌library,‌ ‌a‌ ‌reason‌ ‌she‌ ‌loved‌ ‌them.‌ ‌ ‌ 

‌(Don't)‌ ‌ ‌

She‌ ‌loved‌ ‌the‌ ‌books,‌ ‌and‌ ‌the‌ ‌smell‌ ‌that‌ ‌came‌ ‌along‌ ‌with‌ ‌them.‌ ‌She‌ ‌loved‌ ‌that‌ ‌quiet‌ ‌that‌ ‌came‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌library,‌ ‌she‌ ‌loved‌ ‌the‌ ‌memories‌ ‌-‌ ‌ 

‌(Stop,‌ ‌stop,‌ ‌stop)‌ ‌ 

‌She‌ ‌loved‌ ‌-‌ ‌ 

‌(STOP)‌ ‌ 

‌He‌ ‌pushed‌ ‌into‌ ‌her,‌ ‌and‌ ‌finally‌ ‌she‌ ‌made‌ ‌a‌ ‌noise.‌ ‌ ‌ 

‌"Stop!"‌ ‌ 

‌His‌ ‌hands‌ ‌then‌ ‌moved‌ ‌to‌ ‌cover‌ ‌her‌ ‌mouth‌ ‌and‌ ‌Catherine‌ ‌closed‌ ‌her‌ ‌eyes,‌ ‌and‌ ‌forced‌ ‌herself‌ ‌away‌ ‌again.‌ ‌ ‌

She's‌ ‌dancing‌ ‌the‌ ‌meadow‌ ‌again,‌ ‌happy‌ ‌as‌ ‌could‌ ‌be,‌ ‌with‌ ‌her‌ ‌family‌ ‌with‌ ‌her.‌ ‌ 

‌Happy,‌ ‌happy,‌ ‌happy,‌ ‌happy.‌ ‌


	17. 17

Jane thinks to herself as she sits on the floor of her joke of a kitchen.

Maybe she was asking too much.

She vaguely registered the broken plate near her that she threw when _Catherine_ stormed out. It's pieces were everywhere, and she was lucky to not be sitting on some.

Things had been great until she brought up leaving him.

_She_ was afraid, she understood that much, but she thought things were getting better for them. In one argument they dissolved.

But the more she thinks about him, the more she feels the bitter vile in her throat.

It doesn't matter if _Catherine_ isn't waiting for her, she can't be with him anymore. She slowly gets up and tiptoes around the shattered plate and grabs her phone.

Calling Henry.....

He picks up, almost immediately, a strange thing for him to do.

"Hello love, what's up?"

He's in one of his nice moods today, that should change soon.

"I'm just gonna say it, we're over. Before you start yelling, here's why, you have emotionally abused me for months, and at this point I'm over it. I'm also over the crazy amount of women you sleep with that you think I don't know about because I'm a stupid blonde, well this stupid blonde is breaking up with you. That's all, goodbye."

And she hangs up.

Relief washes through her, and she grabs the broom and dust pan. She sweeps up the plate and throws it in the trash.

She wants to call _her_ so badly, but stays firm in her anger towards her. She will not break.

(She doesn't yet know what she's accidentally caused, how he immediately got on a plane and flew back. She doesn't know that pain that's about to be inflicted to her _lover_ soon because of this. But she will soon.)

She paces and paces for so long, and she loses track of time. When she looks up it's almost midnight, which means she's about to have midnight thoughts.

That makes her think of _her_ , and suddenly she's so sad. She wants _her_ there, she wants _her_ kisses, she wants _her_ hugs, she wants _her_ cuddles, but _she_ isn't there. _She_ wasn't ready. And maybe that's for the better.

Maybe _she_ was just someone to show Jane she deserved better, and even though Jane would rather that _she_ was the one for her all along and Jane just needed to see what others are like, she can't change fate.

Midnight thoughts slowly turn into _Catherine_ thoughts, and she imagines what they would be doing if they hadn't gotten into that fight. Things were good for Jane, she stood up for herself, but they were also bad, because now she lost _her_.

God, why couldn't she ever have just a happy fucking moment?


	18. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings of abuse

The next day is hell, and Jane realizes her library shift was coming up.

Great.

But the thing is, when she arrived _she_ was there, sitting at the chair checking people out.

"Hey, I thought I was check out?"

"Why not change things up?"

_Her_ voice is gravelly, as if _she'd_ been screaming. And _she_ looks terrible, _her_ eyes have bags, and - wait - no those are bruises.

"Stand up."

Catherine looked up.

( _she_ looked up)

"Please don't make me."

"Where is he?"

"At his friend's dorm."

"I am going to kill him, why is he back?"

"Someone broke up with him."

Oh.

Oh no.

Guilt suddenly dumped on Jane, if she hadn't done that this wouldn't have happened to _her_. _She_ wouldn't have been -

_She_ wouldn't be hurt.

"Why did he hit you?"

"I told him no."

"For what?"

"Jane."

"I want to know why he hurt you so I can call the police on him."

"Jane -"

"Catherine please I just wa -"

"He raped me!"

Jane stopped talking immediately, and _she_ glared at her, trying to force down tears. Jane opened her mouth to say something, but shut it again.

"Lina........"

"Jane, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

They ran through their shift in silence, Jane occasionally glancing over at _her_. Slowly she got over the shock and felt her anger boil and gather, becoming larger and larger, and in more danger of killing him.

When they finished Jane called out -

"Wait! Please!"

_She_ stopped and turned halfway, being in too much pain to move anymore.

"Lina I don't wanna fight anymore, and I'm sorry I caused this, but-"

_She_ kissed her, and Jane felt like they've gone through this before but the other way around. Jane kissed back softly, making sure she didn't hurt _her_.

"I don't want to fight either."

_She_ took her by surprise and led them back to _her_ dorm. They'd only been there for a few minutes before he came back. Jane saw something flash in _her_ eyes, before _she_ ushered her into the closet.

_She_ handed her a gun.

"There is no way you're allowed to have a gun in here!"

"I have a permit, anyways, it's loaded, and I need you to have it on you in case he finds you. You've never seen him violent, he won't hesitate to knock you out. Just take it, okay?"

"Okay?"

"That's the spirit."

"Catherine what are going to do?"

"Just get in the closet before he finds his keys."

Jane slipped into the closet and looked out through the crack. He walked in, so sure of himself and growled at _her_.

"You know where you're supposed to be."

"Henry, I want to talk."

He raises a brow, clearly surprised _she's_ daring to defy him again. Jane feels the gun burn on her hands, something sneaking up on her. Something unfamiliar.

_She_ opens her mouth again, and he swings his arm surprisingly fast. His hand meets _her_ face and _she_ crumbles to the floor with a cry of pain. _She_ whimpers while on the floor, and Jane can understand why _she_ was so unwilling to put _herself_ in danger for her.

This is making Jane angry, blind rage is beginning to settle on her and she has a feeling the gun in her hand is going to do something very bad to him.

Watching _her_ in so much pain, curled in on herself on the floor, isn't really helping.

He takes _her_ hair in his hands, and yanks _her_ up.

"I thought you learned your lesson yesterday? Oh well, guess I'll just have to reteach you."

He starts to drag _her_ , towards the bedroom and Jane -

Jane loses her shit.

She slips out of the closet surprisingly silent and raises her gun.

"Hey asshole."

He looks up in surprise and drops _her_ , and _she_ lets out a sigh of relief before looking up in horror.

He backs up into the wall at the sight of the gun, and raises his hands.

"H - Hey now."

Jane locks her jaw and keeps the gun trained on him, the feeling she's now identified as murder keeping her going.

She's going to kill him.

And she's going to enjoy it.


	19. 19

Okay, Jane hadn't really planned on doing this, so her threatening skills were a little rough. At least she thought so, but Henry certainly seemed to be taking her seriously.

"What are you doing here?"

"Who has the gun in this situation?"

"Y - You."

"Yeah, so I'm in charge."

Henry's eyes were flashing to _her_ and then back to Jane, and she wondered if he was worried for _her_ or seeing if _she_ was going to save him.

"Catherine." He hissed.

He wanted _her_ to save him, for fucks sake.

_She_ stood wobbling slightly and walked over to Jane. At first he seemed to gain his confidence back, but when he saw _her_ slow pace it faltered. _She_ walked over to Jane and leaned heavily on her.

"When I gave you the gun, this wasn't what I had in mind."

"Well I lost my temper. So here we are."

_She_ pressed a kiss to her temple and then sat down behind her.

"Are you okay Lina?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. What are we going to do?"

"Kick him out. Get your keys."

Henry fumbled for his keys and dropped them on the floor.

"Kick them over to me."

He obeyed.

"Now get out."

This is where Jane does a double take because who the fuck does this when someone's pointing a gun at them?

"No, this is my dorm."

"No, this is Lina's dorm, you are just forcing her to let you live here."

He takes a step forward and Jane pulls the trigger.

It's very loud, as a gun normally is, and she's surprised to see him on the floor. Blood is starting to seep into his pants and she realizes she hit his kneecap.

_She_ stands suddenly and takes the gun from her. _She_ points it again, and shoots his other kneecap, handicapping him.

"I feel like you're a hypocrite now."

"Shush you."

"We're gonna have to call the police."

"I know."

_____________________

It's not as satisfying as killing him, but it's as close as she's going to get she supposes.

He's being pushed into an ambulance, with a pair of policemen with him. Once he's patched up he's going to jail, for a long time. _She'll_ have to testify sure, but he won't be able to hurt her ever again and that's something.

She turns and walks over to where _she's_ sitting, with a paramedic.

"Hey Lina."

"Hi."

_She_ smiles at her, and Jane has no regrets about shooting him. _She's_ the only person to ever treat her right, and to see _her_ being abused made her so angry.

"So, what now?"

_She_ nods her head slightly before turning to her, much to the medics distaste.

"If you want to, we can go on our first real date?"

"I would love to."

They smiled at each other for a moment before leaning in and kissing each other.

"I can't believe we get to do that in public now."

"Me neither."

"So does this mean I can call you my girlfriend?" Jane asked hopefully.

"Yeah, we're girlfriends now."

"Good."

They kissed again until their grins were too wide for them to kiss anymore.

Girlfriends.

Fucking finally.


	20. 20

You would think that becoming girlfriends would be a smooth transition, they'd been essentially dating for a while now.

That was not the case.

Catherine was having a meltdown currently, her nerves making her restless and anxious. She was with Cathy, who was being no help at all, and a girl named Anna. She had been one of the six and she visited her to thank her personally for putting him in jail.

Catherine groaned from the closet.

"I don't know what to wear!"

"Just wear the yellow dress, she likes you in yellow."

"I don't - wait, how do you know that?"

"She told me?"

"When did you talk to Jane?"

"Like thirty minutes ago, she's hoping that you wear that dress so -"

"Fuck Anna! If you had just told me that we could've been done thirty minutes ago!"

"Traitor." Cathy mumbled.

Catherine swiped the yellow dress and the darkest red lipstick she had and changed in the bathroom. She came out (ignored Anna's whistles) and grabbed her hoop earrings. Once she was changed she stood in front of the mirror, then turned to them.

"How do I look?"

"Hot."

Cathy choked on air, before turning to Anna.

"If Jane finds out you said that, she'll kill you."

"I'll take my chances."

"You shouldn't she knows where my gun is, speaking of which I should hide that again."

"Probably."

________________

Catherine is driving her car, with _her_ in it. _She's_ bobbing her head to the music, singing along quietly to whatever Dua Lipa song is on. Once they reach the restaurant Catherine darts out of the car and opens her door.

_She_ laughs before leaning up and kissing her cheek. Thankfully _she_ has smear proof lipstick on so there's no mark.

(Smear proof doesn't exist, if you kiss hard enough it comes off.)

Catherine smiled giddily before offering her arm out. _She_ takes it with a giggle, making eye contact with her the entire time. Catherine is the first to break it, looking away nervously with a blush. She hears _her_ giggle again, and berates herself for letting a pleased smile pass her face at the sound.

She gives the hostess her name and they're seated.

So far, so good.

That's when they sit in awkward silence for the next five minutes pretending to be looking at the menu while deciding what to say.

Spoiler: Nothing

When the waiter comes they order hurriedly, almost like if they talk fast enough they'll come up with something to talk about. They don't. It takes another five minutes of silence before Catherine coughs quietly, and _she_ hums.

"Nothing, sorry."

Jane bites her lip.

"You would think we'd be fine after all this time, and oh god that rhymed."

"You'd think."

_She_ nervously moves her hand and covers Catherine's. Catherine blushes a vibrant red and turns her palm over to hold _her_ hand.

"Maybe we should just pretend this is the first time we're meeting."

"We can try."

"Hi, I'm Jane, and you look really good in that dress."

Catherine somehow flushes more before responding.

"Hi, I'm Catherine, and you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

_She_ giggled before smiling at Catherine.

"Why thank you." _She_ jokes.

Catherine grins at the scarlet blush on her cheeks, and suddenly they're back. _Her_ flustered, Catherine relentlessly flirting with her. They talk a mile a minute and understand each other perfectly.

They share their food, and make fun of wine tasters.

It's a perfect date.

After they pay they walk out leaning on each other, giggling about what the couple behind them were talking about. When they reach the car it occurs to Catherine that they both drank that night.

"How many glasses did you have?"

"Two, you?"

"Three, you drive."

"This is not safe."

"How else are we going to get home?"

_She_ takes her keys, and Catherine can tell she's nervous.

"I can't believe you're letting me drive your car....."

Oh shit, that's why.

Catherine immediately regrets her decision, but knows she can't take it back now.

(She hopes Jane doesn't crash her car, a child to her, and oh _she_ is going to get angry when she freaks out over the littlest things like turning too fast.)


	21. 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings of sexual content

Catherine almost had a heart attack every few minutes, and near the end it seemed like _she_ was purposefully trying to give Catherine anxiety.

When they finally pulled to a stop in the parking lot, Catherine leaned over and turned the ignition off, taking the keys with her.

"Never again."

"It was not that bad."

"Fucking lies."

_She_ laughed before kissing Catherine's cheek, but before _she_ could leave Catherine's hands flew out to keep her close.

"Hey."

"Hey."

They stood nose to nose, admiring each other's eyes. Now that he - _Henry_ \- was gone (he had a name, he wasn't a god, he wasn't above them, not anymore, Henry was not in control) they seemed brighter, and their laughs were freer.

_She_ kissed Catherine softly, but soft turned to rough before they knew it. Pulling away, they panted heavily determined to stay as close as possible to each other.

Kissing _her_ in public made Catherine higher than any drug. Taking _her_ back to her place without the shadow of Henry looming over them was lighter than air. Having _her_ all to herself was better than all the money in the world.

She stared at _her_ , adoration seeping from her, and Catherine couldn't help but lean in and kiss _her_ again, one more time until they reached her dorm.

Catherine opened the door as quickly as possible, practically slamming into her dorm. It had gone through a complete transformation, the orange (Henry's choice) was replaced by yellow, Catherine's favorite color, and had accents of white and gray.

The colors went well together, and Catherine cringed at the accidental metaphor she's created in her head.

_She_ put _her_ wallet purse (what are those things) down on the end table and ran _her_ fingers over the new furniture that Catherine had picked out, wanting to lose all reminders of Henry.

(It was freeing to think like that, not _he_ , not he, but Henry.)

_She_ turned and faced Catherine, a smile playing on _her_ lips. _She_ walked over to her slowly, and cupped her face. _She_ kissed Catherine gently, _her_ eyes fluttering shut. Catherine wrapped her arms around _her_ waist pulling her close.

The mood shifted slowly from soft to heated, seamlessly they started to walk to the bedroom, their lips never leaving each other. When they crashed into the barstool they admitted defeat and pulled away, instead walking to the bedroom.

Catherine attached to _her_ neck, delighting in the fact that she wouldn't have to hold back, she wouldn't have to hide it anymore.

Catherine bit down on _her_ neck, and it immediately started to bruise. Catherine repeated this over and over again, unable to stop when doing so made her so giddy. Catherine nipped at _her_ jaw, and smirked at the noise that escaped _her_ mouth.

_Her_ hands tangled in Catherine's hair, tugging with every bite. Catherine groaned into _her_ neck after a particularly hard yank. Catherine growled into _her_ ear, her hand's moving on their own to undress _her_.

_Her_ hands were also undressing Catherine, both of them wanting to be as close as possible to each other. After so long of being unable to truly be together, this was a big moment for them. Their first time, as a legit couple, being together intimately.

Obviously it wasn't their first time overall, but still.

Now they were completely naked, on the bed, with Catherine on top. Catherine's hands slid down _her_ body and rubbed through her folds. _She_ moaned in pleasure at this and arched _her_ back, as she pleaded for Catherine.

Catherine pushed two fingers into _her_ , roughly thrusting. _She_ begged for more, _her_ legs wrapping around Catherine's waist. Catherine obliged immediately, only wanting _her_ to feel good. _She_ started to tense, and Catherine couldn't believe that _she_ was already about to orgasm.

Once _she_ did though, Catherine sped her movements up and added another finger, curling all three of them into _her_ sweet spot. _She_ let out a loud cry of Catherine's name, letting everyone know who was in bed with _her_.

Pride wormed its way into her vision, pride at making _her_ feel so good, pride at getting to be with this _woman_ , pride that she had finally broken free.

Possessiveness also made it's entrance again, deciding it's career had fallen flat outside of Catherine. Catherine growled again, adding more hickeys wherever she could, determined to mark _her_ up as much as possible.

Catherine slammed her fingers deep inside of _her_ , causing _her_ to immediately, violently orgasm on her fingers.

_She_ panted for a few moments, regaining _her_ energy while watching Catherine suck her fingers clean. Then _she_ lunged forward and took control of the situation.

Catherine writhed as she slowly descended down her body, kissing and biting as _she_ went. When _she_ reached Catherine's heat, Catherine whined noticeably, desperate for _her_ to just do it. _She_ ducked her head down with a smirk and swiped her tongue.

Catherine's hips surged against _her_ mouth, her body betraying her in how badly she wanted _her_. Faster, she pleaded over and over again, only wanting more of her _lover_. Catherine gasped as her orgasm started to build up, and _she_ doubled her efforts, making it all the more pleasing to feel.

She came only moments after that, _her_ name flying off her tongue. _She_ cleaned Catherine up before crawling up to her and kissing her, allowing Catherine to taste herself.

Catherine tugged _her_ down to cuddle with her, drowsy and happy _she_ was in her bed. _She_ laughed quietly and latched onto Catherine, happy as well.

"Good night."

"Sweet dreams Lina."

They shared a kiss before they drifted off, nearing their perfect ending that almost never was.


	22. 22

Catherine woke to  _ her _ in her arms, and they were both covered in hickeys. The thrill of the knowledge that this is what she’d be waking up to from now on, not him, but  _ her _ .

Catherine smiled at  _ her _ , the most beautiful girl she’d ever seen.  _ Her _ face was serene, peaceful, and Catherine could stare at  _ her _ for hours, for eternity. Eventually  _ she _ noticed someone was staring at  _ her _ and  _ her _ eyes fluttered open.

_ Her _ eyes adjusted for a moment before  _ she _ smiled at Catherine gently, looking content. Catherine kissed  _ her _ forehead gently.

  
“M’sorry I woke you up.”

“S’okay.”  _ she _ replied,  _ her _ hand resting on Catherine’s chest.

Catherine pulled  _ her _ closer, nuzzling  _ her _ nose.  _ She _ smiled and nuzzled back, now both hands splayed on her chest.

“I love you.” Catherine murmured.

“Love you too”  _ she _ replied.

Catherine kissed  _ her _ softly, and relished the sigh of happiness that slipped from  _ her _ lips at the action. Then, they were lip locked, softly kissing each other for longer than expected. Catherine pulled away and admired  _ her _ again,  _ her _ cheeks now tinted pink, and a gentle smile playing on  _ her _ lips.

_ She _ buried her head in the crook of Catherine’s neck, and Catherine cradled  _ her _ protectively against her body. Soon  _ she _ was asleep again, lulled by Catherine’s body heat and protective hold.

Catherine smiled before falling asleep herself, content with her  _ lover _ in her arms, safe.

_____________________________

The next time they woke up,  _ she _ was trying to get out of bed to make breakfast, and Catherine was having none of that.  _ She’d _ just gotten a shirt on (one of Catherine’s) when Catherine wrapped her arms around  _ her _ from behind and started planted open mouthed kisses along  _ her _ neck.

_ She _ sighed and tilted her head, making it easier for Catherine to continue her pleasing assault. Catherine kissed up to  _ her _ ear.

“Come back to bed.”

_ She _ whined and turned so  _ she _ could argue, but Catherine moved and kissed  _ her _ soundly, easily slipping her tongue into  _ her _ mouth.  _ She _ relaxed against Catherine and pushed  _ her _ own tongue into Catherine’s mouth.

After a few moments of the heated kiss, Catherine pulled away from it, barely, their lips almost touching. She was close enough that  _ she _ was leaning forwards, intoxicated by Catherine.

“Come back to bed.” she whispered convincingly.

She pulled away, taking  _ her _ arms and dragging  _ her _ back.  _ She _ abandoned the idea of getting up and making breakfast, following Catherine back in a daze. Catherine lowered herself on the bed and  _ she _ crawled on top of her.

They kissed again, tongues exploring the others mouth before there was more than just kissing going on in the bed.

_____________________________

Once they successfully got out of bed Catherine showered, making  _ her _ promise to wait for her so she could help with breakfast. The shock and delight on  _ her _ face when Catherine asked  _ her _ that made her glow.

Her heart was buzzing, and she couldn’t stop smiling. All she could think about was azul. Those eyes that drew Catherine in those months ago were now hers. Catherine could kiss  _ her _ when she wanted, Catherine could hold  _ her _ close and protect  _ her _ , Catherine could call the  _ girl _ with those azul eyes her  _ girlfriend _ .

Catering finished showering and stepped out to get dressed. Immediately she knew the promise had been broken,  _ her _ probably getting too nervous without anything to do. Bacon and eggs were in the air, and Catherine chuckled to herself at it.

She dressed and walked out to the couch.

“You promised.” she pouted.

_ She _ looked up at her guiltily, “I’m sorry.”

Catherine pouted for a few more seconds before grinning, “I can’t stay mad at you, you’re far too cute for that.”

_ She _ flushed before looking away abruptly, flustered. Catherine immediately sat by  _ her _ and pulled  _ her _ against her, cooing about how even more adorable  _ she _ was when  _ she _ blushed.  _ She _ whined for her to stop, but Catherine (obviously) didn’t.

Eventually they were sitting, sharing food, and Catherine was 100% feeding  _ her _ . Sometimes it was with a fork, sometimes the food was on her fingers, and sometimes it was in her mouth (not chewed of course, gross). And then  _ she _ fed Catherine the same way.

After they were done with breakfast there was a quick backtrack to the bedroom before thirty minutes later they were actually ready to leave the dorm. Catherine wrapped an arm around  _ her _ waist, pulling  _ her _ close.

“You ready?”

“Yep.”  _ she _ replied, grinning up at Catherine.

Catherine couldn’t help but kiss  _ her _ one more time before opening the door and walking out with her  _ lover _ beside her. They walked around campus for a while before spotting Anne and Cathy, clearly on a date. They planned to just keep walking and leave them be, but both of them perked up at the sight of them.

“Take two of hurricane Anne.”  _ she _ mumbled, watching them run over.

Catherine laughed at that.

“Catti!” Cathy yelled before tackling her.

They hadn’t really (the date thing didn’t count, that was all about Catherine’s gay panic) seen each other since the whole ‘my boyfriend showed up early, raped me, beat the shit out of me, and then my mistress/girlfriend shot one of his kneecaps and I shot the other one’

Which totally wasn’t a complicated situation at all.

_ She _ stepped out of the way, barely escaping Anne’s tackle, watching her fall to the ground with a thud.

  
“Um, ow?” Anne said, offended.

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“Can we not do this right now?”

“Sure, bye Anne.”

  
“No! That’s not what I meant!”

Catherine and Cathy looked at each other before laughing quietly. They slowly stood, brushing themselves off as their girlfriends bickered with each other.

“How’ve you been?”

“Great.” Catherine replied, grinning.

She unconsciously turned to where  _ she _ was now wrestling with Anne because Anne had stolen  _ her _ phone in an attempt to get  _ her _ to talk to her.

Cathy chuckled, “You happy?”

“Yeah, you?”

“As much as one can be when your girlfriend likes to steal your things to get your attention.”

“Stealing your book is the only way to get your attention.”

“She takes my laptop too.”

  
“Brave soul there.”

“Right? Not even you do that.”

Eventually it became clear that the two quiet women were going to have to break up the fight that was turning very real between their girlfriends. Catherine picked  _ her _ up bridal style, narrowly avoiding  _ her _ claws of rage.

  
“Jesus you two!” Cathy said exasperatedly, “Anne give her phone back.”

  
“She won’t talk to me!” Anne whined.

  
“Gorgeous, talk to Anne.”

_ She _ stuck her tongue out defiantly.

Catherine and Cathy made eye contact.

“Well, until you can do these things I guess we’re just gonna have to ban cuddles.” Cathy replied.

It was hilarious how both of them immediately got their asses into gear to make sure that didn’t happen.

“Soooooo, are you two officially dating?” Anne asked them, a teasing glint in her eyes.

Catherine turned to  _ her _ , a huge smile on her face.

“Yeah, she’s my girlfriend.”

_ She _ smiled back at her.

  
“And you’re my girlfriend.”

And that was all they had ever wanted in the first place.


End file.
